Friday, January 29, 2010

Guilt & Inertia

Inertia: A tendency to do nothing or remain unchanged.
Guilt: A feeling of having done wrong or failed in an obligation.

Today is one of those days. My head tells me one thing, but my supine position, wrapped in blankets on a coldish day, laptop poised comfortably on my legs tells me another. Looking over at the clock says it's 9:38. At 10, you are truly a slug. So I have 22 minutes to make a choice. Invariably I will make the correct one, but in the meantime, I'm struggling with the guilt over inertia right now.

I've been up since 7:30. Got up, woke daughter, made coffee, made other daughter breakfast (first daughter doesn't eat, gave up trying), read paper, ate. Made sure first daughter didn't go back to sleep (you have to be super vigilant on that score) Let other daughter eat half my breakfast slyly giddy that I've tempted my militant "vegetarian" to eat pigs in a blanket. Her father has brainwashed her into thinking being vegetarian is the superior moral choice, but bless her heart, she loves different foods. I keep trying to explain the hierarchy of predators and the natural food chain and such, but she insists, as she wolfs down the occasional bacon and burger that she loves animals. If she only knew that her morally superior vegetarian father also grew up loving bacon and burgers,,,,,,

So, at last get first daughter out the door and off to school. Second daughter has the day off. When did teachers start getting a whole day off to record grades? I guess it was right when they got recess off as "coffee breaks". But that's beside the point isn't it?

I let second daughter play computer and watch TV. It's her weekend with her Dad this weekend so, he can enforce the homework rule. I returned to my comfy bed, checked my Facebook page, read Google News, wasted time on other people's Facebook pages and let my mind trace through the various duties and obligations that I have before me that I realize I am avoiding. Some are small errandy type things, others are largish, life choice type of first steps.

1. See invention made.
2. Plan spring college reunion.
3. Get children's book published.
4. Go to the gym and continue my quest to become a" jalker". (not misspelled. I had a friend call it "wogging" but that puts me closely in awareness of my many wobbly bits that in fact wiggle when I attempt to walk, then jog, then walk again) In any case, I am slowly but surely making my way to becoming a Jalker if I would only make sure I get to the gym every day.
5. Make cake for Dan's boss for being so supportive through his illness.
6. Find something fun for second daughter and me to do today since she has no school.
7. Update my blog.

So, since I had my laptop on my lap, and my phone at close range, I started the process rolling for numbers 1, 2, and 3. After months and months and months of procrastination, I made an appointment with a guy who helps people realize their invention concepts. It seems that a woman I went to high school with, married a guy who has a company that does that. And I have at least one potentially marketable invention idea. I've known about this woman's husband for about 5 years now, but only have known his phone number for a few months. I have an appointment for next Tuesday. Yea! Take that inertia. Take that guilt over inertia!

I called the guy I'm planning the reunion with. Now that's only been about 3 weeks in the avoidance category. I make all kinds of apologies for not calling yet, but at last, the phone call ball is now in his court. Take that inertia. Take that guilt over inertia!

I emailed the woman who I know who is in some kind of job to do with children's literature. We planned to have lunch about 6 months ago, and then one thing and another came along and we never made the ultimate reschedule, so it went poof. I'll start that process over again and who knows, my book might be one tiny step closer to realization. Take that inertia. Take that guilt over inertia.

Looking up at the clock on my computer. YIKES. It's 10 now. Only true slugs and slaggards are still in bed after 10. And since pretty much nothing productive will come of this blogging stuff, I'd better get a move on.

Take that inertia. Take that guilt over inertia!

oh, by golly, check off number 7.

1 comment: